


There's Rats in the Kitchen

by Kivea



Series: Twenny Week [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Comedy, Humor, I just really love rats okay, M/M, Meet-Cute, Pet Rats, Pets, Rats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24569845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kivea/pseuds/Kivea
Summary: Day 2: Rats“Clyde!” he hissed out. “When are you home?!”“Uh, I dunno, why? What’s up, my dude?"“There’s rats,” he hissed out. “In our kitchen.”He didn't want to have to deal with rats in the kitchen, at first. But then they turned out to be pets, and so sweet. Pets of a neighbour he had never met and was so glad he got to.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Tweek Tweak
Series: Twenny Week [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775890
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	There's Rats in the Kitchen

It was not what he wanted to come home to after a long day at work. He dropped his keys in the dish at the door, kicking off his shoes and heading towards the kitchen. The lack of jacket and shoes strewn about the floor on the way made him think that his flatmate wasn’t home yet. 

He walked into the kitchen ready to start on figuring out what they were going to eat for dinner and stopped in his tracks. His eyes blew wide as he took in the sight in their kitchen. 

Two rats sat on the counter top, munching away on the bread that he’d baked the day before, turning towards the door as it opened. 

He stood, wide eyed, for a solid two seconds. 

Then he slammed the door closed and began to panic. 

His phone was in his hands in a matter of seconds, speed dialling his flatmate in a panicked rush. 

There were _rats_ in their _kitchen_. 

_“Hello?”_

“Clyde!” he hissed out. “When are you home?!” 

_“Uh, I dunno, why? What’s up, my dude?”_

“There’s _rats_ ,” he hissed out. “In our _kitchen_.” 

_“Say what?”_

Tweek had to actively stop himself tugging out his hair. “There’s rats! In our kitchen!” 

_“Oh. Well, shit.”_

“Would you – when are you coming home?!” 

_“I can be home in about an hour, I guess?”_

“Please,” he confessed. “I don’t know what to do about them.” 

_“Sure, dude. I’ll be quick as a mouse!”_

He huffed out at the joke, but didn’t comment. “Thanks, man.” 

The next hour was agonising. He sat on the couch, looking over the top of the TV to where the door to the kitchen was, knuckles pressed against his lips and one knee bouncing with nerves. He thought about doing something, or going somewhere, but couldn’t bring himself to move off the seat he was glued to. 

Instead he waited. For a whole hour. Until the door opened and he sprang into action as Clyde sauntered into the living area with a smile. 

“Alright, where’s these rats?” 

The pair rushed to the kitchen, Tweek throwing the door open to reveal the tiny terrors that had plagued their house. But it was empty. 

There wasn’t a trace of bread left. Even the crumbs had been cleaned up. 

Clyde moved in first, peering round the counter and trying to find evidence of the things scampering around. 

“I swear I’m not going crazy,” Tweek insisted. “They were _here_.” 

“Maybe they left?” Clyde suggested, looking through the cupboards. “I don’t see any movement.” 

“Where could they have left to?! I kept the door closed!” 

“Was the door closed when you got here?” 

He tried to remember if it was. They did keep it closed usually, but… 

“Maybe they left however they got in,” Clyde stood up and moved to the window. “Window’s closed. That’s weird.” 

“Oh my god what if they’re dead and we can’t find them and then they rot in the kitchen behind a cupboard somewhere?!” 

Clyde looked up. “You…don’t think that’d happen, do you?” 

“There’s always the chance!” 

“Uh, that’d be pretty shit.” 

“Yes!” he agreed. “It would be!” 

“What now then? Can we…pull the kitchen apart?” 

“I don’t think so?” Tweek looked around. “We could probably empty the cupboards?” 

“Ugh, that sounds like a lot of work.” 

“I’m not going to wait for them to reappear, we can at least…make sure we’re rat proof, right?” 

“Fine, fine. I’ll help, I guess.” 

They only managed to spend ten minutes emptying cupboards before they got distracted. Clyde came across three packets of microwaveable popcorn that they’d totally forgotten about, calling for Tweek and successfully derailing their mission in favour of making a snack between them. Not half an hour later they were in front of the TV with a giant bowl between them and Netflix on, scrolling through to find something they agreed on watching. 

\--

Tweek may have forgotten about them that night, but he hadn’t altogether. The image had been burnt into his memory, and found him on his break at work flicking through websites trying to identify humane rat traps, how to bribe one out, where to take them, and what kind of rats he saw. Only one was brown, and they weren’t super big like he imagined some rats to be. 

He came to a conclusion: these weren’t average rats. They were ‘fancy rats’, as google advised him. 

Fancy rats were pets. 

Someone kept pet rats in his apartment block, and they could get into his kitchen. 

It wasn’t till two days later that Tweek saw them again. He was the second one home this time, murmuring a hello as he entered the flat and toed off his shoes, slumping through to the living room. Clyde’s jacket was thrown across the back of the couch, and Tweek’s joined it. 

He shuffled into the kitchen knowing that they had a guest over that night and that he and Clyde would need to make enough food for three. Craig, the mutual friend who had introduced them to each other when Tweek needed a flatmate and Clyde needed a place to live, joined them most Friday evenings. That evening would be no different. 

Except, it would be, because when he looked up in the kitchen, Clyde was at the counter, frozen with a half-smile at being caught in the act, piece of fruit in one hand, small rodent on the counter nibbling away. 

It took him a solid five seconds to actually react to the sight. Long enough for Clyde to recovered first and rush over to him. 

“Don’t freak out-!” 

“Jesus _Christ dude what the fuck_ -?!” 

“Don’t! Please! Hear me out!” 

Tweek tore his wide hazel eyes off the rodent to land on Clyde. He waited. 

“Uh…I...don’t actually know how to get out of this.” 

“You’re _feeding them_?!” 

“Look, he just – he seemed so friendly, y’know? And he doesn’t look dirty or anything.” 

“I-!” Tweek glanced over Clyde’s shoulder at where the white and grey rat was eating the rest of the apple piece. “I think they’re pets.” 

Clyde raised his brows high, eyes practically glittering. 

“I tried to figure out what to do about them, and – why is there only one?” 

“I dunno,” Clyde shrugged. “There’s only been one since I was here. He’s pretty friendly, though.” 

Tweek was hesitant. Working his whole lift in the food and drink industry had left him with a very negative view of rats in kitchens; they were sign that someone needed to contact pest control before a customer found out. 

He poked a finger forward, and the small nose reached out to give him a sniff. Two hands raised up, holding his finger as the sniffing continued up to his hand. Big beady eyes looked up, ears round and framing his cute face perfectly. Tweek’s heart melted just a little bit. 

“He likes you!” Clyde said in an excited whisper. “That’s so-!” 

They both froze as there was movement to the left. The second rat, much darker in colour, poked his head out from behind their new loaf of bread. Tweek held his breath as the creature tiptoed forward, not as confident as his counterpart, and reached Tweek with a tentative sniff. 

They reminded him a little of him and Clyde. Overly friendly, and a nervous wreck. His heart melted even more. 

Half an hour later had them curled up on the couch, the two rats in Tweek’s lap, an assortment of snacks on the table that Clyde began to feed them, with Tweek cross-referencing each on his phone on whether they would harm rats. It turned out they had pretty resilient digestive systems. That didn’t mean they should feed them anything and everything was his argument. They didn’t know what their diet was, maybe one was diabetic. 

Clyde was far too distracted to listen to him. 

They startled as the door opened, looking at each other with a mutual thought of ‘aw, shit’ before they were joined by their guest that they had _totally_ forgotten about. 

They looked up as their friend came to a stop behind the couch, scowl on his face as his steely eyes took in the scene in front of him, from the snacks piled on the table to the rats being cradled in Tweek’s arms. 

“What the fuck.” 

They both launched into explanations at the same time. 

Before they could really get into it, Craig held up a hand, effectively cutting them off. It didn’t surprise Tweek that Craig turned his eyes to Clyde, allowing the brunette to talk first. He instead turned his attention to the energetic one of the rats that was climbing it’s way up the sleeve of his shirt. 

“So, Tweek found these rats, last time, but then they disappeared when I got home and then today I found them, and they seemed really friendly!” 

There was a long-suffering sigh from the tall man. 

“And we started to feed them, cause they’re like, they seem like pets, y’know?” 

“Where did you find them?” 

“The kitchen.” 

Craig’s brow twitched. 

“That’s where the food is! That’s totally normal and not weird!” 

“Just cause you two can’t keep a kitchen clean-?” 

“We do _fine_.” 

“-Doesn’t mean you should just accept rats in your house.” 

“I think they are pets,” Tweek confessed. “I researched them, and these are fancy rats.” 

Clyde ‘ooo’ed at the term, though Craig rolled his eyes. 

“So they belong to someone, then?” Craig asked. 

“I think so.” 

Clyde wiggled a finger at the rat that had climbed up onto Tweek’s shoulder. “I think they’re cool. D’you think we should get a cage for them?” 

“I think if they belong to someone, you should give them back,” Craig advised. “Which of your neighbours has rats?” 

Tweek looked at Clyde, who looked back at him with a blank expression. He opened his mouth with a thoughtful noise that seemed to drag on, though Tweek was drawing a blank. He honestly wasn’t sure he would recognise their neighbours, never mind name them. He tried to keep to himself and avoid being spotted in the hallways. 

“Oh, come _on_.” 

Tweek turned on the critical guest with a scowl. “Like you know _any_ of your neighbours?!” 

“People expect it of me, but you two?” 

“Fuck off, you hypocrite!” 

Clyde sighed. “I guess we could just…go knocking to find out?” 

Tweek tensed at the suggestion. 

“You could stay here with them? And if we find the owner we’ll bring them back!” 

“I don’t want them to get lost in the hallways…” 

Craig nodded his approval and turned to Clyde. “Let’s go.” 

Clyde took his sweet time saying his temporary goodbyes to the two rodents, cooing and baby talking them before Craig dragged him from the flat to start the search. Tweek sniggered as he heard the pair begin to chatter at each other, and didn’t doubt that Clyde would eventually drag Craig off track like he always did. As much as him and Craig would try to make plans, Clyde was good at bulldozing his way through them. 

He instead continued to play with the paler rat, the other seemingly snuggled into a crease in the blanket on his lap, not wanting to be disturbed. 

He didn’t keep track of the time. It was a little while, long enough that both rodents were sniffing at each other, peaceful on the blanket, while he scrolled through his phone waiting for one of his friends to return. 

There was a rhythmical knock on the door that reminded him of his flatmate, and the two rodents jumped awake at the disturbance. He scowled in the direction of the door as he gathered the animals, climbing his shirt back up to his shoulder. 

He rushed to the door, flinging it open and getting ready to chew Clyde out for forgetting his keys, but the words died on his tongue. 

There on the other side was a blonde he’d never seen before, with a wide, gaped toothed smile. 

“Hey.” 

His brain went into overdrive. He attempted to speak, but no words would form properly in his mouth. Instead he was too busy staring into the baby blues opposite him, soft cheeks adorned with a splattering of freckles, and shaggy blonde hair that brought out the colour of his eyes so perfectly. The smile seemed so full of personality and Tweek wasn’t quite sure what he was meant to be focusing on. 

“I’ve been looking for my pets, but…it looks like you found them already?” 

“Oh!” Tweek raised a hand up to where one of the rats were. “You…these are yours?” 

“Yeah,” the stranger jabbed a thumb in the direction of next door. “I live one over, I just got home. There must be like, a hole in the wall somewhere that they’re getting through. Sorry if they’ve caused you any trouble.” 

Tweek attempted to laugh it off. “No, they’re – I mean, the first time I saw them it was kind of y’know but then they’re super friendly so we – my flatmate, he’s gone looking for who owns them, so I should probably tell him that we’ve found their home.” 

“You’re kinda attached to them, huh?” 

Tweek startled at the observation. “Wha-what?” 

The man chuckled. “Just letting them hang out on your shoulder and petting them.” 

He honestly hadn’t really noticed he was stroking the left one’s head. “I-I guess. Is that weird?” 

“Nah, they’re fucking adorable. You can come visit them.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah! They seem fond of you,” the blonde reached a hand up, holding his finger out for one of the rats to sniff. 

Tweek held his breath, not sure how to really respond to having the man’s hand so close to his face. 

“I bet they’d like to have visitors. C’mon, angel, let’s get you home. Caused enough trouble.” 

The weight lifted from his shoulder, and the rodent ran up his arm to settle in the hood on the jacket he wore. He did the same with the other, though that one took a little more coaxing to leave Tweek. 

When the weight left his shoulder he felt a little disappointed, watching the second rodent move to settle on the blonde’s shoulder, pawing up his ears and sniffing the same way he had done with Tweek. 

The blonde laughed and it did funny things to Tweek’s insides. 

“I should let you get back to it, take these guys back to their cage.” 

“Right,” Tweek nodded dumbly. “Yeah.” 

“I’m Kenny, by the way.” 

He looked at the hand that was stretched out and offered. He took it. 

“I’m Tweek.” 

The smile widened. “I’ll see you soon, I hope?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you soon.” 

His eyes followed the blonde in a totally-not-weird way as he disappeared back into his flat, giving one last wave before the door closed. He shut the door behind himself, leaning against it for a moment, allowing his heart to settle before he took any action. 

The action he took was to send Clyde a garbled message telling him to come back, and the rats had been returned. The brunette understood his ramblings by this point. 

He suffered through preparing dinner and having his flatmate repeatedly suggest they invite their neighbour before Craig gave him a solid shove and told him to let it settle for a moment, though he would find the two of them inviting their neighbour over the next Friday in advance, suggesting he brought his cute pets also. Tweek could hardly say he minded. 

**Author's Note:**

> Meet-cutes are honestly more my speed than angst and then I realised MOST OF THE FICS I'VE WRITTEN FOR TWENNY ARE MEET CUTES AND I'M SO SORRY 
> 
> There's a couple that aren't I promise
> 
> I just really love Tweek and Clyde as like, really good friends that bond well (and are hopeless at looking after themselves together)


End file.
